she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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