I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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