one might say we're banned from that church
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize