i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
