Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry NEMESIS6612 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in

Fav 9 1203 3546
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

Fav 8 825 3528
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

Fav 22 2849 2089
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college

Fav 24 4929 1195
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

Fav 13 2182 4026
share tweet
(530): View more from California

As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

Fav 22 14761 1539
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.

Fav 6 4280 1157
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.

Fav 1 73 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated

Fav 0 15 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT