DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
