Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
