Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize