3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
