Duck Duck Cougar?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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