gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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