What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
