he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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