Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
