I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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