i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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