I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
