I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Church boner. Awkwardddd
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
