why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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