I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
