I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
