She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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