Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
