Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I love you.
Bad choice
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
