Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
