Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
