HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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