what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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