look no pants
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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