u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
