Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize