do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
