This baby is an asshole
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Never let your siblings swipe right.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
