just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
