I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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