You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
