handjob tips. give me some.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
