so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
