He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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