i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
