he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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