He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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