i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize