My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
