Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
