i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
