It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
