We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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