Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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