woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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