you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
