Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize