I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
