I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
