I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
