So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
