wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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