"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
