D3 body, D1 cock
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize