Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
