Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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