I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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