If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
