come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
