She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
