Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
