actually, I'm a sock model
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize