So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
