Dual....:-)
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
