That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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