maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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