Is it normal to miss your booty call?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
