I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize