im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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