3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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