He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
