Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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